The illustrious calling of Cat photography

I know what goes through one's mind when they hear I have fourteen cats, sure, they immediately assume I live in a derelict trailer neck deep in kitty litter, and they may even conclude that I register as legally insane and/or solemn and lonely. But, allow me to diffuse those ludicrous opinions, my trailer has a built in hot tub, the litter boxes only overflow twice a day, and obviously I can not register as insane since I technically do not have legal citizenship in the United States (long story). However, I do have a reputable business with a diversified clientele and am contesting for a spot on the exclusive Forbe's fortune 500 list. Okay, so maybe I just lied to your face. But, hey, that's business. By now one must ponder how exactly I turned my fourteen cats into a lucrative business, and for that answer one must consult the monolith of Instagram. Yes, Instagram, I take pictures of cats, and put them on Instagram, but these do not compare with the sheepish, poorly captioned "lolcats" as one may presume. No, these works of art boast exquisite lighting, arduous timing, chiseled poses, and each cat must possess the proper "qualities" if you will. Whilst most cat pictures that litter the internet and the deep realms of Instagram consist of shaky, low quality abominations taken with an iPhone, my technology stands at the forefront of feline photo capturing technology. I sport a "Nikon X-2000 Jingler" yes, the jingler, a cat toy that dangles from the lens harnessing the feline's perfect attention. Not only does my technology cost exponentially more than my luxurious crib but it captures every last flea resting upon the supple snout of each cat and kitten. Each photo requires meticulous preparation and grooming, each cat must receive exactly five strokes with an ivory brush, diamond encrusted brush on each side of its body. Followed by a fluffing period of 4 and a half minutes using a ten-speed cool breeze hair dryer equipped with the built in scent of Japanese orchids. Finally, I set up the lighting, two Hawaiian imported bamboo tiki torches, to set the mood, and a military grade searchlight, because the best way to bring out a cat's eyes comes with the illumination of a 760 terrawatt bulb. Finally, I put on a cat suit of my own, a skin tight spandex jumpsuit with genetically engineered fur on the exterior so I can be one with my feline models. Who finds interest in these stupid cat pictures? Ah, what a moronic question. I spend 13 hours a day among my companions, watching them bathe in Mediterranean imported catnip, gallop over and throughout their hand-crafted furnishings, and tussle among one another over hypoallergenic, Gucci cat toys.  Then I capture all of this through the tantalizing visual medium of Instagram, put a sepia filter on, and send them away to receive from all of my humble followers. And the question still arises, who finds interest?! Blasphemy, my 460,000 (I just lied to your face once again) followers will quickly answer that feeble question for whatever peasant finds it necessary to ask. How do I profit from uploading free pictures to Instagram? Ha, these questions just keep getting more menial. Like, seriously? How do I profit?! Ha...haha...what a stupid...yeah..uhm, I do not. I work at a Denny's.