Take it or Leave it: Arguably Awry Advice

You may want to take the following advice I give to you and crumple it into a ball, set it on fire, then throw the ashes out the window. Because if anything, there exists no way to take on AP English head on and avoid any mishaps, as a matter of fact, if you have that mentality you will most likely trip over yourself and fail miserably, seriously, do not get cocky. Also, do not expect to succeed, no, one does not excel in AP English, Ms. Serensky just permits you not to fail. Furthermore, always write in pencil, it shows you can swim against the stream, look in the eye of danger and not even flinch, you can erase those mistakes instead of crossing them out, and if that does not get you hyped then go home. Oh another thing, just forget about home, because home does not exist as you know it any longer, room 30- whatever, has become your new home, because if you want an A, you have to devote every waking minute of your life to SOAPSTones and twenty minute essays. Speaking of those, the common misconception of SOAPSTone standing for speaker, occasion, audience, purpose, subject, and tone must get tossed immediately  What it really stands for: Satan, organizing, a, paper, similar to, torture. If you do not believe me then fine, you try writing like sixteen hundred of these over the span of two years and tell me how tolerable it feels. Slaving away in the ninth ring of hell for eternity will seem like better of the two evils real quick. OH, right, and make sure you follow good ol' Ms. Serensky on twitter, and always RT or favorite her tweets, its not brown nosing if it is virtual. Also, make sure you never do your blogs, ever, she respects thinking outside of the box, and if anything not doing assigned work stands as the epitome of that sort of thinking. Sure, technically I just told you that in a blog but I already told you not to listen so get over it. Ah, how could I forget, change your name to Leonardo DeCaprio, she will not only pass you, but give you 9+/10s on your essays, oh that does not exist? Sorry, who needs the advice here? You. So shh. Now, lastly, I would recommend procrastinating EVERYTHING, because if one thing exists that Ms. Serensky loves, it would come in the form of people who prioritize poorly and disregard efficiency. Take it from the master himself, she loves me more than oxygen and I will hit the submit button five minutes before the deadline. Call me crazy, I call it....well, crazy, yeah no other word for it, probably should stop doing that.